We Gotta Talk
We have to talk ya’ll and the topic is mental health. Depression is affecting our community big time. We’re seeing it play out amongst celebrities, I mean look what happen to Tamar. People were like but she seemed so happy. Well you never know what someone is going through so you should always be kind. Many people suffer in silence and we need to encourage those affected by depression to speak up as well as having the courage to seek help for ourselves. In my Target post I shared that my friend passed away. What I didn’t share was how, on February 1, 2020 Chad took his own life. Chad struggled with depression and I was there for him as a listener, encourager, and supporter. Today I still struggle with wondering if that was enough.
Dr. Jerrilyn D. Dixson, LPC-S, RPT-S, BC-TMH, NCC
I recently spoke with a colleague from the great Dillard University who reached out to me and she didn’t know how much I needed her encouraging words at that time. Dr. Jerrilyn D. Dixson, LPC-S, RPT-S, BC-TMH, NCC, a true southern girl, originally from Jackson, Ms. is a licensed mental health therapist both licensed in Mississippi and Louisiana. She holds a bachelor’s of art degree in psychology from the city she considers to be her second home (NOLA). Sis is Mississippi raised and Louisiana made. She loved New Orleans so much that she decided to get her Master’s of clinical counseling degree from Loyola University. She also has a doctorate of professional counseling from Mississippi College located in Clinton, Ms.
She has been working in the field for 9-10 years , 6 of those years have been in private practice where she currently works. She is the founder and lead therapist of Progressive Therapy, LLC, where she provides a holistic approach to individual counseling services for individuals that deal with anxiety and depression as it relates to work- life balance challenges, life transitions, intergenerational trauma, trying to find purpose, and career struggle to aid individuals who struggle with anxiety and depression, she is also a certified integrative nutritional health coach which allows her to offer her clients dietary and supplementary options. So sis knows what she’s talking about!
I expressed to her my biggest problem was not knowing what to do if you have a friend or family member suffering from depression. Hopefully the information she provided will help you or someone you know going through a tough time.
Here’s how our conversation went:
Why do you think Mental Health Awareness is such a touchy subject for the black community?
I believe that culturally speaking the black community has always used strength and resilience as a means/effort to overcome obstacles or challenges. We don’t teach individuals that we are allowed to feel emotions or experience things that may affect us emotionally and mentally. We are taught to push through challenges. But these teachings force black people to experience shame and feel alone when they are experiencing challenges. We create shame around people who appear not to be “strong” or challenged by events in their life, therefore alienating those who may need to seek help from a therapist. In addition, we have been taught “what takes place in this family stays in this family”. Those philosophies limit us from finding comfort to reach out for help and further perpetuates cycles of unhealthy behaviors from one generation to the next. When we limit our awareness to just our family/friends we limit our access to learning and advancing our skills and perceptions, which aid with some of the challenges we experience.
Why is it harder for black males to express these issues?
I believe black men have been taught from a very young age to “suck it up”, get over it , and work through challenges. We often tell little boys, “ boys don’t cry”. We don’t realize how powerful the words we tell children are. This is then reinforced by coaches, teachers, and same sex peers, who respond negatively when they do express emotions. Those words begin to signify to that child when they are older that they are not allowed to express hard emotions and to instead “ push through it” and “work through it” . They learn they are responsible for fixing challenges, and sadly many find they “fix” them by medicating emotions through drinking, sex, or drugs. Black males, even fathers, glorify and ensure their son’s experience stereotypical male “rites of passage” experiences such as sex, drinking, or drugs. This is not the case with everyone but those experiences are typically more acceptable than men expressing their emotions/challenges. We do a disservice to young black male by not teaching & allowing them to both feel and act on them.
What should someone do if they are contemplating suicide?
If you know someone who is challenged by suicidal ideation, it is important to take it serious, support that person by encouraging them to reach out to a mental health professional for assistances and in the immediacy assist that person in going to an emergency room where professionals there can evaluate and provide safety. Sometimes it can be intimidating to reach out to a therapist for the first time , therefore it is also ok to help them navigate their search or maybe even attend with them by staying in the waiting room or meeting them after their session to provide support. I also believe it is important to make it a priority to check in on that person regularly by setting up scheduled phone calls or outings to meet up.
Also be sure to pay attention to the warning signs. Too often we don't take suicide reports serious and it just increases the feelings that the individual is experiencing. Therefore , it is important to know what to look for. Here are a few things to consider:
Making a suicide attempt
preparing for a suicide attempt—for example, collecting medications, trying to get access to a gun, researching ways to end their life or trying to buy tools to use in suicide
talking about suicide—saying things like, “I’m going to kill myself” or “People will be better off without me”
writing suicide notes, saying goodbye, giving away belongings or getting their affairs in order
showing big changes in their personality, routines, thinking or energy level—for example, not sleeping, pacing excessively, hearing voices or experiencing paranoia.
taking part in risky, violent or self-destructive behavior.
What resources are there for family and friends of someone who is experiencing depression?
There are several hotlines that can be used when a person is in immediate need such as below:
Call Youth Crisis Line at 1-800-442-4673
Call Department of Mental Health at 1-877-210-8513
Call Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 (National Crisis Line)
Call 911 and/or go to the emergency room of your choice
NAMI HelpnLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or info@nami.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or Live Online Chat.
SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727)
You can also search for a therapist in your area on www.psychologytoday.com
Tons of literature on www.verywellmind.com
A few books to consider:
Self-Compassion: The proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
After Suicide Loss: Coping with Your Grief by Jack Jordan, Ph.D., and Bob Baugher, Ph.D.
Black Suicide: The Tragic Reality of America’s Deadliest Secret by Alton R. Kirk, Ph.D.
Lay My Burden Down: Unraveling Suicide and the Mental Health Crisis Among African-Americans by Alvin F. Poussaint, M.D., and Amy Alexander
Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families after a Suicide by Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch
Chad was the best dressed man I ever dated and I’m pretty sure I was the best dressed woman he ever dated..haha. He always dreamt of starting a clothing line and his older brother is carrying on his dream while promoting mental health awareness. Check out My Young Bull Society and show some support. 10% of the profits will be donated to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The MYBSociety will work on bringing programs to help educate and promote mental wellness within the black community. Plus the shirts are super cute and the quality is really good.
Mental health is nothing to play with ladies and gents. If you are dealing with depression please reach out to someone. There are people that love you. You can overcome whatever you are going through. Talk to ya’ll later.